Sunday, February 10, 2008

Welcome to my Crazy Life

Sorry I haven't updated this blog lately. It has been nuts around here. It all started when we got the foreclosure notice on Janurary 30, 2008. That is when my life changed forever.

When I read that letter all I could think about was, "Now what?" Where are we going to live? With only $200 in our checking account that isn't nearly enough for a security deposit on an apartment here in town. I know I could move into my parents' basement but I don't want to put them through that. My son still wakes up every hour or two at night. Yup he is seven months old and we can't get him to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time at night. I don't get it. My girls slept through the night by the time they were seven months. Anyway as I was saying my parents already raised five children the last thing they need is three more, plus me and my husband.

Our only other option is to pack everything up and move out west. My in-laws live in Sacramento, California and they have been begging and pleading to my husband to move back home. His grandma has alsimers so her house is empty. My in-laws offered to pay for all of our moving expenses. I do not want to leave Wisconsin. This is my home. This is where I have lived all my life. I am going to miss my parents, friends everything. But we do not have a choice. It is either live who-knows-where or move to a house where we will not have to pay a mortgage and be near relatives. In other words we are starting over in California. My plane leaves Chicago on February 25. The kids and I are flying with my mother-in-law and my father-in-law and Chris will be driving the truck. I am scared to death!

Neither one of us will have jobs when we get out there. Also there is a ton of things we still have to do out here before we move. We have about 25% of the house packed up already. I am worried that it won't all fit in the truck. We have way too much stuff! Fortunately there is a auction/swap meet/ flea market thing that is close to where we will be living. I am planning on setting up a booth to sell all of my crap. Some of our stuff is going to have to stay here. Maybe this is God's way of telling us that we are pigs and it is time to get rid of everything and start over. I don't know.

We are going to move into this little house that is about half the size of this one. We will not have internet, phone, cable, nothing until we find decent jobs. This sucks, sucks, sucks!

What really pisses me off is the fact that I trusted my husband with our finances. I was a hands off kids of girl when it came to our bills etc. He told me that his folks were helping us with the mortgage so I just assumed that they were giving him enough money every month to cover the total cost. Then we got the foreclosure notice. The bank is giving us 30 days from the date of the letter to get out of the house. Apparently, Chris's folks were not giving us enough to cover the total mortgage. He told me that we were $500 short every month. $500!!! If I would have known that I would have done all I could to come up with an extra $500 each month so this wouldn't happen. But of course my husband wouldn't tell me that. I think deep down he wanted to move back home and now he is getting his wish.

I am upset, depressed, scared. I can't sleep at night. (well I don't anyway because of the baby). I am not eating. I have throbbing headaches every single day. And I do not have the motavation to pack up our house. And how is my husband you ask? He is happy. He plays with the kids more. He gets excited at the prospect of packing up boxes. When he gets some of the boxes packed he is so proud. But you know what? He's going home. After living in cold, lack-of-opportunities Wisconsin he is finally going home to sunny California. He's already applying for jobs out there and he calls his parents every day. Just a couple of months ago he was the depressed one and on Zoloft. Now we can't afford for me to go on Zoloft even though I should. This really sucks! I know I am giong to miss home. But you know what? I am not going to miss the snow!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

We are Now a One Car Family... for Now Anyway

It looks like we are not going to get the Aztek back. Chris talked to M & I Bank yesterday. We missed a whole month of payments and haven't been able to catch up. When our son was born this past July Chris was still working 70 hours a week. He was so busy adjusting to a new baby and working so much that he just forgot to make the payment. Of course I was oblivious to this as well because I was taking care of a new baby. What really bugs me is that M & I is supposed to send us a letter explaining that we are behind on our payments before they take the car away. They did not do this. Now we have two days to scramble to find a minivan with poor credit. Again I was up all night last night thinking about all of this. I am still nursing so I can't take sleeping pills. I hate it! When the baby sleeps I can't!

Time for another cup of coffee.

Another thing that kept me up last night was thinking about all of our personal belongings that are still in that car. Conan still needs to get his shots at the county on Friday. His immunization record is in the front seat. Ciara left a couple of toys in the back seat and I think there might be a sippy cup or two there as well. I don't know if Courtney left anything in the car. We have a ton of stuff in the rear hatch. There is a bag of CDs, our beach bag, a box of hand me down clothes for Ciara, a pair of boots and I can't think of what else. Chris gave M & I a call yesterday afternoon inquiring about where the vehicle is located so we can get our stuff. He had to leave a message so I hope they call back soon. We still have a key to the Aztek and a key fob so we need to return those as well.

I swear this is a never ending saga!

Hopefully things will get better. Thank you for reading my rant! Don't forget to leave a comment.

The Broke Mom

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Things are Going Great and then Your Car Gets Repossesed

This has happened to us before and we got it back. I hope we can get it back this time too. I am glad I have a place to vent because we are going through a rather tough time. This blog makes me feel much better.

The Packers lost. But my husband finally got a job. He is working for just a few dollars more than minimum wage as a sales associate for GNC. He doesn't have any benefits but at least its a job. During his two week training period he is working about 20-30 hours a week. Once he is trained it will be full time. Because he doesn't have any benefits we are relying on the state for health insurance. We also qualify for food stamps and energy assistance. On the news Brian Williams was talking about "hard times." For us this is worse than hard times.

I was lying awake in my bed last night around midnight just thinking about everone I have to contact this week so we can get our assistance from the government. I hate having to rely on the governmet like that. I always feel guilty when I talk to my worker. Heck my husband and I both have college degrees! We shouldn't have to go on food stamps to feed our family! In fact he has an MBA! That is a masters degree! It frusterates me whenever I think about it. But there are just no jobs around here for people with our backgrounds. This sucks. Anyway I was lying in bed awake around midnight last night when I heard what sounded like a diesel engine outside our house and then the doorbell rang. This gentleman with long brown hair wearing greacy clothes came to the door and said, "I am here to take the Aztek." I replied, "What! At midnight!" He said he works all night long.

I was so upset! So Chris went outside and took out the carseats and some other things from the car and the guy left. We need our Aztek because that is the only car we have that our whole family will fit in. Our other car is a little neon. When we put all three kids in the back seat of the Neon my oldest can not buckle her seat belt because the two carseats are in the way. This weekend is Ciara's second birthday party at my mom and dads. We need to get the car back before this weekend or else!

Chris told me that we made a payment on it. Then I asked, "Why did they take it away from us?" I double checked our checkbook and sure enough there was a check for $200 written to M & I Bank. When I logged onto my bank account online I noticed that the check hadn't been cashed. Then I asked my husband if we owe any more than just the $200 on it. He said, "Yes we owe a total of $400." I have over $400 in my checking account so we are going to get this taken care of before Saturday!

Well I hear my daughter complaining about losing the Aztek so I better go and tell her that it is going to be alright. We will remain strong and get through this. I don't know when I will be able to update my other blog, Healthy Moms so hold tight. I will let you know when things get better. Thank you for letting me vent.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Go Pack Go! Part 1

I can not go anywhere, talk to anyone, watch anything on television, listen to anything on the radio without some reference to the Green Bay Packers. On the news this morning they were saying that the Packers should win. When I was on my way to work I turned the radio on and they were advertising a trip to Green Bay and tickets to the game for $599.00. Once I got to my first account (I am a merchandiser). The first thing I saw was a rack of Packer shirts and Brett Favre Jerseys. Every associate in the store was decked out in Packer attire. "Green Bay Packers NFC North Champions" or "Favre 4" was written on their shirts and jerseys. I think I am going to get dizzy if I see any more green and gold! When I got home my husband started talking to me about the "Packer party" we are going to have on Sunday. We are going to eat green and gold cup cakes and drink Leinenkugels'. Yes I am going to make cup cakes with my kids and put green and gold frosting on them.

When I got home again the Packers were all over the news. "Is Brett going to return to the NFL next year?" the news anchor asked. When Brett's smiling face appeared on the screen I was so anxious to hear what he was going to say when..."Waa...waa!" my six month old baby started crying. I picked him up and quieted him down just in time to see and hear..."All new on NBC..." Awe shucks! Is he coming back? Is he? The world will never know. Now do you think that I really care?

My two year old already knows to say, "Go Pack, Go!" when my husband watching football. My son has a darling Packers stocking cap. There was also a news story about this elementary school where all the kids learned about Packers spirit. They all dressed in Packer attire and the whole school was decorated in you guessed it, green and gold. Needless to say I can not wait until Sunday is over!

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. After mass my brother, his daughter and girlfriend are coming over. We are going to watch the Packers beat the Giants and drink our beer and eat our cup cakes. I would like to watch the game but I know that instead I am going to be chasing after the little ones. We asked Courtney to play with her sister during the game, but I know that is not going to happen. And Conan is going to be cranky if I don't hold him. I can't wait until Sunday is over!

Next stop Super bowl! What's after that? The Brewers?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Welcome to Musings of a Broke Mom

I already have a couple of other blogs but I really needed a place to vent. I lead a very stressful life here in Americas Dairyland. My husband and I are struggling trying to raise 3 kids on a shoestring budget in a tiny community where there is little opportunity. My blogs help me deal with my every day stresses. I promise to post to this blog every day. If you are a reader of my popular blog Healthy Moms I guarantee that this one will be more entertaining and humorous with less advertising.

Add this blog to your Technorati favorites. (As soon as I register it on Technorati!) Share it with your friends and bookmark it. Join me on my journey of parenting three little kids along with my crazy husband who is just a kid himself! Have you ever been to Wisconsin? If not, this blog will discuss Cheese Country and Packerland and all the humorous things about this little state by Lake Michigan. I am telling you we have our own culture out here!

Let me introduce you to my three kids. My oldest, Courtney was born in 1997 when I was barely 19 years old. She is a very spirited child who enjoys animals, The Warriors Book Series, Webkinz, and spends most of her time on the computer or fighting with me over the computer! Did I mention she is also a black belt in Karate? Yes she can kick her mommy's you know what! We are Catholic and I send her to the catholic grade school here in town where she is in the fifth grade. Her best friend is Claire. You will read more about her later. Claire and Courtney get into these little petty fights all the time, just like tween girls! The girls in Courtney's class are just at that age where they can be extremely mean to each other.

Courtney is also very close to my mother. You see, I was just a teenager when she was born and I wanted to get a college degree so she lived with my parents so I could pursue that dream. My parents have 10 grandchildren but they still have a special bond with Courtney.

I married my husband, Chris in 2003 and he adopted Courtney the following year. I will tell you more about Chris later.

We tried for a long time to have another child. We thought that I was infertile and maybe we would have to adopt. Courtney really wanted a little sister. When she would ask us when we were going to have a baby we would tell her, "When you are eight." After 2 1/2 years of trying and nearly giving up, Ciara was born just three weeks shy of Courtney's ninth birthday. We got lucky! I don't know how I would be able to explain things to her if her sister would have been born after Courtney turned nine!

So here is Ciara, daughter number 2. In my other blog I refer her to the "Terror" because that is just what she is. She'll be 2 in a couple of weeks. Just imagine a tiny Tasmanian Devil running around your house. That is Ciara..or as we call her CiCi (pronounced Key ar a or Key Key). She scares me half to death for many reasons. First of all she is not afraid of anything. This past summer she climbed up a slide at the park all on her own. I think the slide is about 10-15 feet tall. She is very athletic and loves to climb on anything. Also she is extremely independent. If you are not following her around the house at all times she might just stick her pacifier in the toilet, or steal Courtney's change from her purse and put it in her own piggy bank. CiCi also has climbed down the steps and eaten the cat feces out of the litter box once. I called poison control on that one! CiCi is also extremely friendly. When we go grocery shopping she will say hello to everyone at the store. She also lets anyone pick her up. Now that really scares me!

When Ciara was a baby I worked at the local Wal Mart and my husband worked for Frito Lay. We were just barley making it then, if you know what I mean. Then Wal-Mart threatened to fire me and I just about had it so I quit. This was November, 2006. My husband was upset that I quit my job and we were talking about the circumstances one day when he said, Cash aren't you supposed to get your period soon? I was so stressed out about work and all that I wasn't really thinking about that. I replied, "yeah, I guess I was supposed to have it last weekend." Oops! He ran to the store and got a pregnancy test. I was thinking how can I be pregnant again? I just had a baby! And this time we were not even trying! Sure enough, it was positive. Nine months later on July 17, 2007 I had a beautiful baby boy, Conan. When I was pregnant Chris insisted that we were going to have another girl, in fact he called him Cadence the whole time I was pregnant! I thought that because this was a surprise pregnancy that I would finally have my boy. I was right.

Conan is a beautiful little 6 month old boy. He has orange hair and blue eyes and looks a little like his daddy. Currently he is just starting to roll all over the floor. I am still nursing him and would like to continue until he is a year. Drinking Mamma's milk as we call it is his favorite past time. I can not have him on my lap for more than 10 minutes without him twisting around to get a drink. He likes to nurse when he is hungry, when he is tired, when he is bored, when he wants to play, just about any time. And worse of all Conan does not sleep. My doctor told me that babies his age should have at least 15 hours of sleep a day. Conan sleeps about 6-8 hours. And guess what he likes to do all night long! Yes you guessed it! Nurse. I love my little boy but sometimes I think I love my sleep more.

Now for my other boy. Sometimes I refer to him as my fourth child. That is pretty much what my husband is just a big kid. Chris is from California and settled out here in the late 90's when the economy and jobs were better here than out in California. Now I think it is the exact opposite. We met in 2001 and married in 2003. He has an MBA from the University of Phoenix but currently does not work. He's a typical man, enjoys watching football (The Packers of course) playing with his kids, helping them mess up my house and he loves to cook. Oh wait that isn't typical now is it? But it is great for me because I do not particularly enjoy that task. So now there's me.

I was born in a small town just south of Madison, Wisconsin to a large Catholic family. I am the youngest of five children. My mother taught at the Catholic grade school, where we all attended and my father was a State Trooper. I was raised well despite all of my problems. I was a very spirited child just like my oldest daughter. In fact I was thrown out of Kindergarten because I through a temper tantrum. When I was in high school l rebelled and hung around with a boy that my parents did not like. The summer after I graduated he got me "knocked up." That made my parents dislike him even more! But everything happens for a reason and now I have a beautiful 10 year old daughter.

Ok, so why do we live in Beaver Dam, WI? And why are we broke? Chris used to work as a store manager in a small town just south of here. At the time we were ready to purchase our first house and found one here right across the street from a park and it was in our price range. After working for that company for a number of years Chris decided it was time for a change so he found a job at Frito Lay. They promised him a management position and he would be promoted within 6 months. So of course he took the job along with a $20,000 a year pay cut and a baby along the way. (Ciara) I worked at Wal Mart so we were going to be alright. (The two largest employers in/ or near this town is Wal-Mart and John Deere) He never got his promotion. He was working 70 hours a week and only getting about 5 hours of sleep a night. He gained weight and contemplated suicide. Also our marriage was about to fall apart. Just before Christmas, 2007 he quit his job. I am working part time for a merchandising company because there are just no jobs around here. We are about ready to foreclose on our house. Well, maybe.

OK I do not want your sympathy. I do not want your money. This blog is solely for entertainment and so I can vent. You can feel free to comment on this post. Tomorrow I will tell you more about how we are doing, what happened in the last 24 hours and how we are coping. Is all I ask is that you read and comment on my blog. It will get better, trust me!

The Broke Mom