Sunday, February 10, 2008

Welcome to my Crazy Life

Sorry I haven't updated this blog lately. It has been nuts around here. It all started when we got the foreclosure notice on Janurary 30, 2008. That is when my life changed forever.

When I read that letter all I could think about was, "Now what?" Where are we going to live? With only $200 in our checking account that isn't nearly enough for a security deposit on an apartment here in town. I know I could move into my parents' basement but I don't want to put them through that. My son still wakes up every hour or two at night. Yup he is seven months old and we can't get him to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time at night. I don't get it. My girls slept through the night by the time they were seven months. Anyway as I was saying my parents already raised five children the last thing they need is three more, plus me and my husband.

Our only other option is to pack everything up and move out west. My in-laws live in Sacramento, California and they have been begging and pleading to my husband to move back home. His grandma has alsimers so her house is empty. My in-laws offered to pay for all of our moving expenses. I do not want to leave Wisconsin. This is my home. This is where I have lived all my life. I am going to miss my parents, friends everything. But we do not have a choice. It is either live who-knows-where or move to a house where we will not have to pay a mortgage and be near relatives. In other words we are starting over in California. My plane leaves Chicago on February 25. The kids and I are flying with my mother-in-law and my father-in-law and Chris will be driving the truck. I am scared to death!

Neither one of us will have jobs when we get out there. Also there is a ton of things we still have to do out here before we move. We have about 25% of the house packed up already. I am worried that it won't all fit in the truck. We have way too much stuff! Fortunately there is a auction/swap meet/ flea market thing that is close to where we will be living. I am planning on setting up a booth to sell all of my crap. Some of our stuff is going to have to stay here. Maybe this is God's way of telling us that we are pigs and it is time to get rid of everything and start over. I don't know.

We are going to move into this little house that is about half the size of this one. We will not have internet, phone, cable, nothing until we find decent jobs. This sucks, sucks, sucks!

What really pisses me off is the fact that I trusted my husband with our finances. I was a hands off kids of girl when it came to our bills etc. He told me that his folks were helping us with the mortgage so I just assumed that they were giving him enough money every month to cover the total cost. Then we got the foreclosure notice. The bank is giving us 30 days from the date of the letter to get out of the house. Apparently, Chris's folks were not giving us enough to cover the total mortgage. He told me that we were $500 short every month. $500!!! If I would have known that I would have done all I could to come up with an extra $500 each month so this wouldn't happen. But of course my husband wouldn't tell me that. I think deep down he wanted to move back home and now he is getting his wish.

I am upset, depressed, scared. I can't sleep at night. (well I don't anyway because of the baby). I am not eating. I have throbbing headaches every single day. And I do not have the motavation to pack up our house. And how is my husband you ask? He is happy. He plays with the kids more. He gets excited at the prospect of packing up boxes. When he gets some of the boxes packed he is so proud. But you know what? He's going home. After living in cold, lack-of-opportunities Wisconsin he is finally going home to sunny California. He's already applying for jobs out there and he calls his parents every day. Just a couple of months ago he was the depressed one and on Zoloft. Now we can't afford for me to go on Zoloft even though I should. This really sucks! I know I am giong to miss home. But you know what? I am not going to miss the snow!


damonm55 said...

Uprooting is definitely hard. But think of this as an opportunity for a fresh start. You never know what can happen. The very best of luck to you.(no internet-thats gonna suck)

Michelle said...

I feel your pain...we are still renters, so no foreclosures here--but, we have felt the heavy hand of eviction before, so I can relate in a way. It sucks to have to just up and move and not know what you are going to do next. I hope things go well for you and that CA turns out to be better than you think it will be! It's going to be hard to be without internet, I know (we just got ours back after about 3 months without it). Try to keep your chin up and think positive, and hopefully things will be good. sunprr

Around The Funny Farm said...

Hang in there!

Lisa said...

You need to monetize your blog with Adsense so you can start making some money with it. It won't be a lot, but every little bit helps. Blogger makes it very easy to add Adsense, because Blogger is owned by Google. You should have the option to add Adsense from within your template. Just a suggestion. Sorry to hear about your home. Before my husband and I separated, we lost our home to foreclosure. It was a very sad time for me.

A Week In The Life of A Redhead said...

Change is always hard, but Sacramento is warm and has much to offer in jobs and fun for your kids. There is Old Town, the Capitol, the American River in the Summer, the Gold Country with cities like Grass Valley and Nevada City, there's Reno and Lake Tahoe, San Francisco and the East Bay, Folsom Lake, the wine country, Yosemite and the Sierras ... I could go on and on. The libraries here offer free internet, so from time to time you can catch up on your blog. I live North of San Francisco, two hours West from Sac. I think you will like the weather ... if you like the sun and warm summers... I wish you all the very best.
Catherine, the redhead

Anonymous said...

Oh, I empathize with you on so many levels! Neither of my kids slept through the night until they were ten months old, so I looked like Uncle Fester with huge black under-eye circles. I moved from Chicago to Spokane, WA two years ago, and it was damn scary. But..things will get better. This too shall pass. And you are moving to a nice warm pace, and that can only be a good thing.

BJ said...

Five years ago, my parents received a foreclosure notice on their home. Curious, because they had paid cash for it decades before. That's when we found out the new 'business manager' Dad hired when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's had mortgaged all of the properties, business and commercial, to phony companies, then defaulted on the payments. He collected the mortgage money and then the properties.

Millions of dollars lost and not much we could do about it. Mike Anderson was a phony name.

I'm telling you this because you need to know that you WILL get through this. I moved them here to the midwest, where they experienced the same kind of culture shock you have. Mom's first experience with snow!

Hold on to your faith, your hubby and your kids. When all is said and done, it is not what you have that counts. It's the love you share with your family that matters.

Hope you're sleeping well by now. Remember that lack of sleep can make everything seem tougher than it needs to be. Words of wisdom from a grandma of six. Just think: someday you will be a grandma! If I had known grandkids were this much fun, I might have had them first! :}

You will be in my prayers, dear.

Super Mom Online said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tara said...

I guess you read it in the news - foreclosure but until you read someones intimate thoughts on it happening to There is no words of consoling that can be said. I can only imagine the multitude of emotion you have. Hang in here seems like some pat on the back that you get from some passer by that really didn't feel your events. I can see how moving home would be the best economic decision, but to be honest if someone told me that I had to move home, I would feel like I just got a jail sentence. I hate my home town. I live 6 hours away from my parents not because I don't love them, but because I hate my home town. I keep wanting to tell you it will get better, but who am I to tell you that, this is your emotion. If it where my emotion I would probably feel like my whole life as I knew it ended, with my American dream gone. Eventually I would hope that I would get over the material, and be thankful for the health of my family and being near them, but that would be a long eventually. I know that I wouldn't let my husband touch the check book ever again. Of course I have already survived the course of a hapless husband (exhusband) and refuse to let it happen to me again. I am somewhat of a obsessive compulsive when it comes to bills.
Still I struggle wanting to give you some words of encouragement. If you want them, keep reading -

I know your internet days will soon be numbered so keep writing. Find a notebook and vent into that notebook, even if you never share that experience with anyone but yourself, let this be the one thing you are selfish about. Keep it with you like a child would its blanket.

Keep the faith - keep praying. Pray for the hard things - patience, understanding, all those emotions you want to scream at your husband - pray them out also as you write them out in your notebook.

Do something for yourself - it doesn't have to be financially funded. Have you ever wanted to try yoga? Go the library, get a free VHS/ DVD of yoga and get centered. Something like that will be great for you mentally and physically. My oldest daughter loves yoga and we use to have yoga time when she was younger.

I hope this helps, if anything could help right now.

From Tara -

Jill said...

Hey, you are young, and that is more then most people can say. So to hell with it, and leave cation to the wind. Sometimes moving can be a big help in life. And it can trigger some motivation to create a new life.

Let the happiness in, even in the wake of foreclosure, and no money.

Some of my best and fondest memories were those when I was broke as hell, not knowing where my next meal was coming from, and living life like there were no tomorrow.

Sometimes we can get ourselves into a pitch buying into the American dream of finance, homes, cars, madness....Keeping up with the Jones, and getting too comfortable working to pay the bills.

Is life suppose to be this way? Well, according to the French and Italian's who just work enough to play and eat long lunches, stay fit, active, happy, and not get cancer,,,,,,NO!

I just got back from Europe, and people are so happy to eat a few bites of food every now an then, walk everywhere they need to go, and live well bellow their means, just so they can vacation and relax not working....

Life is about experience, this is a cool experience for you, you get to go to another place and live. Like a vacation.

Just don't get trapped in the same rat race as before.

We are taught to live like fools, raking in the cash for Unlce Sam and sending our children to formal education.

My daughters in CAVA....look it up, it's a God sent. She learns online for free. And controls how fast she learns. She is graduating with honors in 4 years at the age of 15. And with not having to get up in the morning or be on the governments schedule, we can travel all over. On a budget of course, but still, it's a life worth living, yet less traveled.

And people often get sucked up into an American dream that really isn't healthy.

Life is about living, not working it away. Work to live, not to work. eat to live, not to eat. And live with less crap you have to take care of. I have a computer, a car, and a cheep condo in a decent neighborhood that only eats 1/10 of my income, and I work when ever I feel like it, not when some boss man makes me.

Anyway, please take in what I said, and maybe you might find this type of lifestyle more happy. It has been for me.

i got rid of the big house that sucked me dry, the two cars that cost me a fortune, and all the crap commercials said I needed in order to live a happy life. I only buy what I need to eat, and that isn;t much, and have lost 25 pounds because of it.

My daughter is happier then she evr has been, and has learned far quicker without all the peer pressure and constant ADHD caused by overcrowded class sizes.

Life is all good....Don't be down...Cause it's just stuff, and someday, when you are real old, you wont be thinking of all that stuff, rather you will be thinking about all the people who you love, and the happiness and warmth you feel from them. Life is short, live it without all that stuff! Maintain just yourself, and only take what you need....

Neat And Tidy Mommies said...

Wow, this has just back ugly memories. My heart goes out to you and your family. Now, a year later, I hope you are doing much better. There is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel and I pray you have found it.

Dorothy said...

I'll be praying that this is a fresh start and your able to make the adjustments with your family.

I'll be back to check your updates when your able.

Blessings Dorothy from grammology

Dorothy L said...

Life does tend to toss a few curves in the way of our straight line. So we deal with them one day at a issue at a time.

I moved to Florida and I am with you...I do not miss the snowy & freezing temps of Northern Ontario, Canada.

Just breathe a lot and give your worries to a higher power. All you can do now is look forward to a new chapter in your book of life :)

Have a very good day:)

Evie and Chris' Mommy said...

I hope all is going well. I know how hard this can be. We were foreclosed on 2 years ago. The bills got so high we hit a point that it was heat or mortgage! Eventually the utilities were turned off, amd the house payment was to far behind to catch up! This was thankfully before our 2 kids were born. Although now we will probably be renters for life! I wish you the best of luck! Hopefully CA offers more opportunities!

LLnL said...

I wish I could give you some encouragement but to be honest I'm so happy to find someone I can identify with. There are so many similarities to your story that I looking forward to learning from you. I assume that you have moved and are without internet. You are i my prayers and I know that everything will work out.

The Guy's Perspective said...

Wow, that's a lot going down! Doesn't it seem to work that way so often? All the stresses come down at once. Money, kids, moving, jobs, etc.
But you seem like you're really in touch with yourself and this will help you with the transition.
Hopefully you won't let any resentment grow because of the way your husband handled the finances.
Good luck. I'm pulling for you.
Bring Back Pluto
ps. moving might open up some new doors for you. you never know. And the sun sure beats the snow!

Gillian said...

I wish you would update your blog. You sound like a cool mum with a story to tell...

Ummiega said...

hi, you're not the only one in this condition, and I believe you're strong enough face this...

Ms. Anthropy said...

Wanted to thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. Wishing you good luck and prayers on your relocation, trials and tribulations!