Sunday, February 10, 2008

Welcome to my Crazy Life

Sorry I haven't updated this blog lately. It has been nuts around here. It all started when we got the foreclosure notice on Janurary 30, 2008. That is when my life changed forever.

When I read that letter all I could think about was, "Now what?" Where are we going to live? With only $200 in our checking account that isn't nearly enough for a security deposit on an apartment here in town. I know I could move into my parents' basement but I don't want to put them through that. My son still wakes up every hour or two at night. Yup he is seven months old and we can't get him to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time at night. I don't get it. My girls slept through the night by the time they were seven months. Anyway as I was saying my parents already raised five children the last thing they need is three more, plus me and my husband.

Our only other option is to pack everything up and move out west. My in-laws live in Sacramento, California and they have been begging and pleading to my husband to move back home. His grandma has alsimers so her house is empty. My in-laws offered to pay for all of our moving expenses. I do not want to leave Wisconsin. This is my home. This is where I have lived all my life. I am going to miss my parents, friends everything. But we do not have a choice. It is either live who-knows-where or move to a house where we will not have to pay a mortgage and be near relatives. In other words we are starting over in California. My plane leaves Chicago on February 25. The kids and I are flying with my mother-in-law and my father-in-law and Chris will be driving the truck. I am scared to death!

Neither one of us will have jobs when we get out there. Also there is a ton of things we still have to do out here before we move. We have about 25% of the house packed up already. I am worried that it won't all fit in the truck. We have way too much stuff! Fortunately there is a auction/swap meet/ flea market thing that is close to where we will be living. I am planning on setting up a booth to sell all of my crap. Some of our stuff is going to have to stay here. Maybe this is God's way of telling us that we are pigs and it is time to get rid of everything and start over. I don't know.

We are going to move into this little house that is about half the size of this one. We will not have internet, phone, cable, nothing until we find decent jobs. This sucks, sucks, sucks!

What really pisses me off is the fact that I trusted my husband with our finances. I was a hands off kids of girl when it came to our bills etc. He told me that his folks were helping us with the mortgage so I just assumed that they were giving him enough money every month to cover the total cost. Then we got the foreclosure notice. The bank is giving us 30 days from the date of the letter to get out of the house. Apparently, Chris's folks were not giving us enough to cover the total mortgage. He told me that we were $500 short every month. $500!!! If I would have known that I would have done all I could to come up with an extra $500 each month so this wouldn't happen. But of course my husband wouldn't tell me that. I think deep down he wanted to move back home and now he is getting his wish.

I am upset, depressed, scared. I can't sleep at night. (well I don't anyway because of the baby). I am not eating. I have throbbing headaches every single day. And I do not have the motavation to pack up our house. And how is my husband you ask? He is happy. He plays with the kids more. He gets excited at the prospect of packing up boxes. When he gets some of the boxes packed he is so proud. But you know what? He's going home. After living in cold, lack-of-opportunities Wisconsin he is finally going home to sunny California. He's already applying for jobs out there and he calls his parents every day. Just a couple of months ago he was the depressed one and on Zoloft. Now we can't afford for me to go on Zoloft even though I should. This really sucks! I know I am giong to miss home. But you know what? I am not going to miss the snow!